haori | Cough 059 - [Accidental Video]

[The sun is setting in the distance amidst the drizzle of rain as Ukitake's normal song continues playing for him. All week, Rick Astley has been serenading him and anyone else who's been close enough to hear, and yet the Shinigami hasn't seemed to get too tired of it yet. Yes, it's possible he's insane. But when he approaches the pond out front with the intention of feeding the fish, the song ends.

Ukitake pauses and looks around, his hand held out mid-act. Where's...the music?

And then, softly, a new song starts up. Ukitake doesn't move at first, but as the singer tells his story, he quickly sprinkles the food over the water's surface and then slips his hands inside his haori sleeves.

If one watches closely, they can see that his expression saddens. What a note to end the week on. But is he sad because of the song itself and the man involved in all the pain? Or is it because the lyrics can apply to himself?

The feed times out after a few moments of watching Ukitake stand there in the rain, the sun slipping quickly behind the clouds and horizon.]

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[She blinks in surprise. She knew he blamed himself as well, to some extent, but for her to resent him?]

Sir... I have no right to resent you for that night. I was the one who left the division without a lieutenant, without him, after what happened but...

Kaien-dono left his heart with me. I cannot resent nor regret that much...

[He shakes his head.]

I let him go, despite not knowing enough about the situation. And I put you in that position. Ultimately the blame falls on my shoulders.

If there is one...morsel of relief I can cling to regarding everything, it's that he fell in battle, undoubtedly as he wished.

[But Ukitake leans back in the chair and stares at the tabletop. He still considers the blood to be on his hands, even if none of it physically was.]

Sir... [And even now she hesitates to say this, even though she knows it's probably true] Do you really think you could have stopped him going? With Miyako-dono's pride on the line? With his own?

He died in battle, defending that, and with friends. He... once told me I should never die alone. I still carry the weight of his death, but I carry those words as well.

[They're going to have to argue about whose fault it was exactly until the end of time, it seems, but.]

[Kaien...would have gone regardless. Ukitake knows this, but admitting it hurts. Either way he would have lost his friend. And in the end, Ukitake couldn't have done a damn thing to stop it.

He closes his eyes now, feeling moisture well up in his eyes. And then he braves a smile.]

...The heart, was it?

Ah.

[She thinks of that beautiful day on the mountain, a million miles away from death and darkness, and smiles as well, just a little.

It's not easy, letting go of one's own guilt, and she will always feel responsible, but she doesn't have to feel guilty for it forever, she's slowly coming to realize.]

Sometimes...I wonder if his philosophy was the better of ours.

[He opens his eyes and looks at Rukia across the table.]

And then I see you.

[And maybe...maybe it's not about what's wrong or right, or who's better, but rather what can be done when lessons are learned from all around. Rukia speaks of pride, but she also trained under Kaien himself, learned of the heart from his own lips.

Ukitake sees Rukia and what can be accomplished from all of that knowledge.]

Difficult to say, sir.

[She blinks when she realizes what he said and stares at him for a second before remembering that that's rude and looking away, unsure but with the sneaking suspicion she should be flattered, even if she did nothing, she feels, to earn such compliments.]

Me?

You've learned from us both and, from what I've seen, turned out quite well.

[Ukitake shakes his head.]

Forgive me. I'm rambling.

[Wow, now there's a compliment for you. Rukia blushes faintly, pleased but humble.]

Thank you, sir, I'm... glad you think so.

Of course not. And if you were by chance, I should think it a captain's prerogative.

Cough 059 - [Accidental Video]

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