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Cough 059 - [Accidental Video]
[The sun is setting in the distance amidst the drizzle of rain as Ukitake's normal song continues playing for him. All week, Rick Astley has been serenading him and anyone else who's been close enough to hear, and yet the Shinigami hasn't seemed to get too tired of it yet. Yes, it's possible he's insane. But when he approaches the pond out front with the intention of feeding the fish, the song ends.
Ukitake pauses and looks around, his hand held out mid-act. Where's...the music?
And then, softly, a new song starts up. Ukitake doesn't move at first, but as the singer tells his story, he quickly sprinkles the food over the water's surface and then slips his hands inside his haori sleeves.
If one watches closely, they can see that his expression saddens. What a note to end the week on. But is he sad because of the song itself and the man involved in all the pain? Or is it because the lyrics can apply to himself?
The feed times out after a few moments of watching Ukitake stand there in the rain, the sun slipping quickly behind the clouds and horizon.]
Ukitake pauses and looks around, his hand held out mid-act. Where's...the music?
And then, softly, a new song starts up. Ukitake doesn't move at first, but as the singer tells his story, he quickly sprinkles the food over the water's surface and then slips his hands inside his haori sleeves.
If one watches closely, they can see that his expression saddens. What a note to end the week on. But is he sad because of the song itself and the man involved in all the pain? Or is it because the lyrics can apply to himself?
The feed times out after a few moments of watching Ukitake stand there in the rain, the sun slipping quickly behind the clouds and horizon.]
[offline]
[A lot of work. And pain. Ukitake can still hear Metastacia's voice in his head, saying horrible things, how it ate Shinigami.
Including Shiba Miyako...
He shakes his head, clearing those thoughts from his mind.]
You never should have gone through that. I am deeply sorry that you did.
[offline]
Does he mean Kaien? It's her who should be apologizing in that case...]
Which part, sir?
[offline]
[And everything. When he thinks about it, he's been a pretty horrible captain. Sick more often than not, keeping her from a seated position on behalf of her brother.
...And Miyako, Kaien.]
[offline]
Sir, my Hollow... I had encountered it the first time long before I even thought of becoming a shinigami. There is nothing you have to apologize for--it was you... I remember, even though it all never happened, it was you who argued for me to remain as a part of the Gotei 13, even after. So, I supposed I should be thanking you, if anything, sir.
[offline]
[offline]
[offline]
Think nothing of it.
[offline]
Yes, sir.
[offline]
Except it feels anything but. And Ukitake doesn't feel right leaving something unsolved, or at least untouched.
...Besides, if anyone can understand his own pain, it's Rukia. But he's already been the cause for her unhappiness once, so what right does he have to bring it up again?
Still, he's her captain. This is his responsibility. So he lets out a breath and softens his voice, his face falling on its own.]
You're...thinking of him, aren't you?
[offline]
[He probably means Kaien, she figures, in which case the answer is mostly true, given the way her thoughts keep wandering between her vice-captain and another 'him'.]
It would be hard not to... especially on a day like this.
[offline]
Sadness and guilt.]
If you resent me for that night, I won't hold it against you.
...I know I do.
[offline]
Sir... I have no right to resent you for that night. I was the one who left the division without a lieutenant, without him, after what happened but...
Kaien-dono left his heart with me. I cannot resent nor regret that much...
[offline]
I let him go, despite not knowing enough about the situation. And I put you in that position. Ultimately the blame falls on my shoulders.
If there is one...morsel of relief I can cling to regarding everything, it's that he fell in battle, undoubtedly as he wished.
[But Ukitake leans back in the chair and stares at the tabletop. He still considers the blood to be on his hands, even if none of it physically was.]
[offline]
He died in battle, defending that, and with friends. He... once told me I should never die alone. I still carry the weight of his death, but I carry those words as well.
[They're going to have to argue about whose fault it was exactly until the end of time, it seems, but.]
[offline]
He closes his eyes now, feeling moisture well up in his eyes. And then he braves a smile.]
...The heart, was it?
[offline]
[She thinks of that beautiful day on the mountain, a million miles away from death and darkness, and smiles as well, just a little.
It's not easy, letting go of one's own guilt, and she will always feel responsible, but she doesn't have to feel guilty for it forever, she's slowly coming to realize.]
[offline]
[He opens his eyes and looks at Rukia across the table.]
And then I see you.
[And maybe...maybe it's not about what's wrong or right, or who's better, but rather what can be done when lessons are learned from all around. Rukia speaks of pride, but she also trained under Kaien himself, learned of the heart from his own lips.
Ukitake sees Rukia and what can be accomplished from all of that knowledge.]
[offline]
[She blinks when she realizes what he said and stares at him for a second before remembering that that's rude and looking away, unsure but with the sneaking suspicion she should be flattered, even if she did nothing, she feels, to earn such compliments.]
Me?
[offline]
[Ukitake shakes his head.]
Forgive me. I'm rambling.
[offline]
Thank you, sir, I'm... glad you think so.
Of course not. And if you were by chance, I should think it a captain's prerogative.